viaje

Day one of this juice fast. Was hungry for like an hour this evening but got over it. Then got a crazy burst of energy. Niccccce. Only negative thing so far is peeing like every freaking hour, we all know how much I love bathrooms.

More updates tomorrow when I  really feel this and the inner bitch comes out :)

and if you feel so inclined…

Checkout my radio show tonight, introducing ZOEY stream it online @

theplanet967.com

:)

This week I feel like a bit of a challenge. Hello juice fast. But oh no I will not stop there, let’s detoxify my skin and hair too. No makeup on this face. And my hair needs a break from all those hot irons I scorch it with.

Plus i’ll prob be bitchy for the first few days and not want to take the effort to get ready.

Also every morning ill wake up 30 mins earlier to find some sort of way to meditate. whether its sitting in my room, Doing some yoga or taking a walk( or run if my body feels up to it.) I am going to actually listen to what my mind wants to tell me and/or enjoy the fucking silence of it not worrying a mile a minute.

On another note, haven’t done a blog post in a while. Be prepared for updates in another post possibly tonight.

Stay positive my friends <3

My friend katrina who carrys me home, deals with my reidiculous cry fits and eats my vegan food

My roomates. casey, david and Alex are the best roomates anyone could ask for. They will laugh with you when you need it most and have becme such great friends! i am so blessed to have gotten to meet them!

My family. I have the best relationship with my parents who are also my best friends. And i have an amazing brother who i am so proud of. He is such a kind, smart amazing person.

Brittany southwick. She is a fucking angel. Nuff said.

Sometimes you just need to laugh at your self. Even when all you want to do is cry.

Last night drunk Marissa was silly and oh so very graceful like usual. Fell on church street and now have a very un-walkable ankle and swollen wrist. I also managed to send some embarassing ridiculous texts to some friends, which i know will result in a lot of awkwardness very soon.

Night resulted in being carried home and whaling in tears in bed my about  my “horrible life”. Roomates probably think I am crazy now.

Spent the whole day icing my wounds and resting and its led to some good thinking and also a ridiculous amount of time on Tumblr.

Viewing others blogs shocked me. While looking up healthy eating and lifestyle blogs i would occasionally run into the teenage girl  who weighs 90 pounds and thinks she’s fat. I read posts of girls saying they were pro-anorexia, and hated themselves. it broke my heart being an outsider looking in on these sad, confused girls. What would their parents think if they saw this?

Clearly, these girls are not fat. They are growing up, finding themselves and battling sadness. 

I want to just reach out to these girls and tell them THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL! That there are so many horrible things in the world but there are also so many beautiful things, that make living worth it.  I want to just hug them. And be there for them. And open their eyes so they can see how amazing they really are and all the things they are capable of. Cause all this negative energy they are giving out is being read and passed down to others negatively impacting them. If they changed their message they could touch others and help others and so many positive things could happen. It breaks my heart to see girls who do not love themselves. 

I then realized that sometimes, I treat myself the same way. I doubt myself. I create imaginary problems with myself. I am mean and cruel to myself. What would an outsider looking in think if they saw how horrible I was to myself.

I immerse myself in so many negative thoughts and I believe they are true. Just liek those girls. And they are not.

I am a bright, kind, strong woman who has fought to become who I am today. I have fought to find myself and I am damn proud of that. I am proud of who I am. I am proud of my heart, and my mind, and my passion for life and when the darkness comes and tries to tell me otherwise I need to fight it and preserve this amazing person I have grown into. 

I continue to try and tell myself that because i don’t have someone right now I am lonely and not wanted. Well,  looking at my goals and dreams one thing i have ALWAYS  made a constant in not including is a man. I don’t need a man to get anywhere in life and I especially don’t need one now.  

I am on the right path. I am so strong. I can do this. 

And anyone reading this, know that you are beautiful. And strong. And just love yourself. You deserve it.

What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates his fate.  ~Henry David Thoreau

1. A huge library in my house. Full of books wall to wall, and that cool ladder thing like in beauty and the beast.

2. Become a published author. Yep want to write a book at some point. Who knows what about.

3. A wine cellar with a collection of wines that I have accumulated from my travels around the world.

4.  Have a child. Whether I have a husband/boyfriend/partner or not. Whether it’s biologically my own or adopted. I want to be a mom.

5. Lots an lots of fun weird unique instruments.

6. To at one point in my life live off of my own land. Grow my own veggies, live organically and sustainably.

7. Start my own non-profit. Most likely for woman’s rights/ healthcare. Most likely in central/South America.

8. Be able to Fluently speak Spanish, French and Portuguese.

9. To travel to every continent… well, Maybe not Antarctica. So far got three.

10. When I retire from whatever I end up doing I want to be a choir teacher.

Damn straight i am achieving these goals. Still got a whole life to live, And I’m gonna live every day to the fullest.